Author:  Bonnie Arden

 Friday June 18, 2010

Janice and Steve just got engaged. It all began with four simple words, "Will you marry me." As that sparkling ring slipped on to Janice's finger the planning for their fabulous dream wedding began.

How, or where to begin has as many cuts and turns as the diamond on Janice's hand. Gushing with pre-wedding jitters and heads filled with questions, they sat down with me to help them make their wedding day dreams come true.

As the founder and CEO of An Affair to Remember by Bonnie Arden; Event Planner & Professional Stationer, I listened to Janice and Steve and volleyed the first of a thousand questions most young couples have when planning their big day. That first meeting is like a first date all over again when they told me about how they met, what they like, what they don't and what their expectations were for the wedding.

"If you could think of one thing that would be the most important to you on your wedding day, what would it be?" I asked.

"The dress. It's all about the dress," blurted Janice, which is pretty much the response a lot of brides give. Meanwhile, Steve centered on the food.

It's a great first question. Their answers can make or break a wedding, as it always comes down to that dreaded word - BUDGET. A properly designed budget is the start to a well planned event of any kind.

When planning your beautiful beginning together there are certain things you don't want to skimp on. Don't skimp on the food, or the music, and definitely not the photographer. They are the things that everyone remembers especially the bride and groom.

Janice and Steve now had a little homework to do. They needed to figure out how much money they actually have to spend for their wedding day. In these tough economic times, not all parents are able to make or contribute as much to their children's weddings. A lot of weddings nowadays are paid for by the bride and groom.

After a true budget is planned the next step is to make a preliminary guest list. The guest list will affect their budget. The number of people they invite will affect almost every part of their wedding planning. The invitations, the food, even the number of tables used for seating, will affect the number of centerpieces they need to order from the florist. In planning, every piece of the pie and in this case let's say the wedding cake, affects the next slice.

The most tasteful wedding can be simple and elegant.

"Don't put yourself in debt just to make an extravagant wedding that you can't afford and will take years to pay off. That's no way to begin your journey together," I said.

Janice and Steve must decide on a realistic dollar amount. They should make a list of everything they want for their wedding. At the next meeting we will discuss and figure out what are the most important things to them on that list and do away with the less important.

Please check back for our next meeting with Janice and Steve when they reveal what direction they want to take, examine their budget, and even figure out how much Janice can actually spend on that wedding dress. Will it be Vera Wang or Oleg Cassini, since we already know that it's all about the dress...

Friday July 2, 2010

 It’s two weeks later and I am about to have my second appointment with Janice and Steve. They entered my office and their expressions looked nothing like those of the fairytale couple that I met just two weeks ago. This time there was a different look of frustration on both of their faces. I looked at them and said, “What’s with the melancholy look.” Janice replied, “It’s that dreaded word budget.” My parents are giving us $20,000 toward our wedding. Steve’s parents said, “They would pay for the honeymoon as our wedding gift.” Steve and I have about $5000 of our own money to contribute. Sooo… what’s the problem, I asked? Steve thinks this is a lot of money to pay for a wedding. He would rather put some of it toward a down payment on a house. I on the other hand, want that fabulous dream wedding. That’s right Steve replied, “For her it’s all about the dress”, for me it’s all about the appliances and which big screen TV to buy!”

OK, let’s calm down and discuss this sensibly. I can understand where both of you are coming from. Janice, you want what most brides want, to feel like a princess on your wedding day. Steve you want to do what’s sensible. Let’s compromise. Janice, for you we are going to design the wedding of your dreams on that dreaded word (budget). Steve, for you we are going to put aside some of the money toward your appliances and big screen TV.

LET’S GET STARTED!

First you will have to take that guest list and narrow it down to very close family and friends. You may be able to add guests back to the list later, once your venue is picked and all the other incidentals are in place. Next, you need to start looking at places to have the wedding. These are some money saving tips when picking a venue.

If you make your wedding on a Friday evening or Sunday afternoon the price per person is usually less expensive. You will pay a premium for a Saturday evening and most venues have a minimum dollar amount that you need to spend.

Sometimes a holiday weekend is less expensive. Venues don’t book these weekends as quickly. Many couples are turning to restaurants for their wedding. They are more reasonable in price and do not require minimums.  

To save money on the liquor, offer red and white wine, beer and what we call the wedding couples signature drink named after them, instead of a full top shelf bar.

A buffet is less expensive than a sit down dinner. A new trend, which happens to be one of my personal favorites, is an elaborate cocktail hour with your favorite stations such as a carving, pasta, Chinese, or even sushi. Finish off with a knock out desert station which includes an international coffee bar. Who doesn’t love hors d'oeuvres and deserts, to me that’s the best part of the wedding meal.

I told Janice and Steve to start looking for a venue that would fit their budget. I said have fun, as this will be the first of many quests to find the pieces of your puzzle that connect together to make your wedding day unique and special.

I had one last question for Janice that I neglected to ask earlier. Janice, did you start looking for your wedding dress? Her reply, Oh yes, I could hear the excitement in her voice. I found the one and it’s FABULOUS! The designer is Stephen Yearick.  My next question, of course was and the price? Steve looked at me with eyes opened very wide as Janice replied, $4400.  I turned to both of them and said, remember that guest list I told you to narrow down? Well, once you go back and trim it, GO BACK AND GIVE IT A HAIR CUT.....

July 30, 2011

The Beauty of Compromise

One of the truly fantastic developments to come from planning their wedding is that Janice and Steve learned to listen to each other and learned to compromise, a good skill to learn for a couple who are about to vow their lives to one another.

Since the last meeting they have been very busy finding the perfect location for their wedding. They chose a cozy restaurant in Gibbsboro to set the scene for a beautiful fall wedding day. The restaurant rests off a lake with roaming ducks and geese with lots of trees robust with beautiful foliage of all colors.

In majestic, yet quaint style a horse and buggy will carry Janice onto a tapestry carpeted path that leading to her soon-to-be husband, Steve. The vision opened up before Janice’s eyes as soon as she saw the breath-taking scenery that will become her fairytale wedding day.

They worked out a perfect price of $50 per person that includes a charming sit down dinner less the alcohol. Since they chose a restaurant instead of a catering facility and cut the guest list to slightly under 100 people, Steve’s dream of that big scene TV is still in the picture.

As we made our way down Haddon Avenue to my favorite florist Michael Bruce, the radiant look of happiness shown in their eyes and matched the sparkling ring on Janice’s finger. As for me, I felt pretty inspired myself today. The hypnotizing and intoxicating scent of the fresh flowers from Michael’s shop invited us in and helped begin a great conversation.

Michael got our true budget, a very important element in your conversations with all vendors. Please do not play the guessing game. A good professional who came well recommended is out to do a good job for you, not to spend every dime you have in your pocket.

We collaborated on many ideas including using flowers in season. Since the wedding is in the fall, center pieces can be accented with tall branches for height and a dramatic effect. And what fun it would be to use pumpkins as the base for the arrangement. Michael also suggested alternating arrangements on tables and incorporating candles, and fallen leaves from Mother Nature as place cards. With a deposit we secured the date with Michael who asked them to return to approve a mock up of the arrangement.

All that compromising worked and made Steve’s piggy bank a little healthier.

Join me next month when we meet with the photographer, DJ and we take a trip to that bridal store and visit the famous $5000.00 dress.  Thank goodness Steve won’t be coming along for this visit. I don’t think his nerves or pocket book could handle it!

To be continued....

Remember if you have any questions about your big day please feel free to contact me. Phone consultations are always free and I would love to talk to you! 609.458.1227

.